In which Chubs rides shotgun and is helping Layla with a Project

Chubs:

Hello World!

Oh, world, I missed you, and sitting next to Layla on the bed typing. Big Layla has been Busy (the capital B in “busy” is hers, not mine. I think capital “B”s should be reserved for silly-sounding words like “Bartholomew” and “Barnacles”, and Important this like “Boogying”, and never applied to “busy” at all…but since Big Layla is the one who was busy, I thought I’d better write it in her language. It’s always better to tell people’s stories in their own lanaguages, I say.)

Guess what, World? Laya took me on a very Long Drive. I’m not kidding it was the Longest Drive Ever, and she let me sit next to her, and I got to touch snow for the first time, and see many sights like Toll Booths and Hotel Rooms, and Layla called me her “Copilot” and I liked that, and when we got where we were going, there was snow Everywhere, and Layla said Brrr many tiems and snuggled me, and so I wasn’t cold at all. She brought me inside every night, of course, so that I wouldn’t get cold and now I have slept in very Many Places. Flying would have been faster, World, but don’t tell Big Layla that – I love driving!

But the most exciting thing of all is that Layla has asked me to help her with a Project. She wants me to help her write a Story, and we are going to write it Together, and so I just wanted to let you know World, that if I do not post in my Blog, not to worry, because I am still her, and I am still writing .

Oh, and World, don’t forget to Boogy!

Or that I Love you.

In which Chubs has his first Sleep Over

Chubs:

Hi again, World. Long time no blog. I have missed you, World. Big Layla has been running around like a chicken with no wings (or maybe a penguin). Big Layla is always so Busy. Little Layla hid under the bed and won’t come out. I have been trying to entice her with special chocolates. Last night, Big Layla made me sleep in the car, because we are at a friend’s house and the friend smokes, and Big Layla doesn’t want me to smell like smoke. But I told her the car was cold and boring and lonely and that being smelly is like being squished – it’s better to be smelly and spend time with your friends. Besides, I am a Dragon. I can breathe Fire, so I should smell like smoke anyway. I just don’t breathe fire very often to be nice – both Laylas would be mad at me if I  burnt the house down (especially if I got burnt up too – because then they would be sad.)

So, tonight, Big Layla let me come in our Friend’s House, and now I am having my very first Sleep Over! What do you think I should do on my sleep-over, World? Post comments with suggestions. (Big Layla says, “PG13, please”, whatever that means.)

Chubs’ First Party

Chubs:

Dear World,

Last night – Saturday – I, Chubs, went to my very first Party. I was the only Dragon there, the only Stuffed Animal, and the only Purple person too! Nevertheless, I made three new friends, and many more potential friends.

I have decided that I like Streamers. There weren’t any at the Party, but Little Layla just showed me some in her mind pictures, and I think they look Fun. Little Layla says they are fun. Big Layla says you’re supposed to have a ‘reason’ to hang streamers. I agree, and I say that Pretty and Fun is the very best reason of all. Don’t you think so, World?

I want to tell you more about the Party, World, but Little Layla is already asleep with one foot sticking out of the covers, and Big Layla is staring at me with frustrated blinks like she’s forgotten how to speak Dragon.

Big Layla’s Silly Reasons Not to Eat Chocolate (as reported by Chubs) – #1 (In which Chubs reveals the reason why Dragons can Fly and humans can’t)

Chubs:

Because if you eat Chocolate, you would have to brush your teeth. Is it really so hard to brush your teeth?

(This morning Big Layla got up to pee and on her way back to bed I asked her to get me some chocolate, but she said no, because then she would have to brush her teeth. Chocolate is so good! Definitely worth an extra tooth-brushing, I say. And brushing your teeth is good for them, right Big Layla?…No luck, World.)

I am Chubs, and I say, “Brush your teeth after you eat Chocolate.”

(Dragons, especially stuffed ones, don’t brush their teeth at all. This leaves us more time for eating. That’s why Dragons can fly and humans can’t.)

Chubs’ First Movie

(Note from Big Layla: If you’ve seen the previews, there shouldn’t be any New Moon spoilers in here.)

Chubs:

World! Tonight I saw a movie in the Theater for the first time! While we were waiting for the movie to start, Layla took pictures of me next to our popcorn, and she even brought me a blanket, in case I got cold. I didn’t get cold at all. The popcorn was warm and salty and dry. Popcorn is not as good as Chocolate, World, but I bet it would taste good with Chocolate. Little Layla ate most of the popcorn. Big Layla had vitamin water.

The movie was about Giants. I kept waiting for the Dragons (I was sure there would be some) and I wondered, since everybody was so Big, if the Dragons would be the same size as the humans, or if they would be so Big only one foot would fit on the screen, but there were no Dragons. There were Giant Wolves with Giant Teeth, though, and some Giant humans that Sparkled some of the time. I think all humans should sparkle all of the time, don’t you? It’s very pretty. Layla’s lips and her hair and sometimes her eyelids sparkle. Layla says my horns and my hearts sparkle. We’re pretty.

Some of the humans that were never sparkly sometimes turned into the Giant Wolves. I hope Layla and I can turn into Giant Wolves someday…Giant Wolves that Sparkle – that would be perfect.

Well, Little Layla is already asleep and Big Layla just pulled her pillow over her face and is making whimpering noises, so I think she wants me to turn out the light. Until tomorrow, World. (If you are bored because you don’t have any more Life According to Chubs to read, watch a movie and eat chocolate (and maybe ice cream too), and you will be happy, I bet – even if it’s not about Dragons.)

Goodnight, World!

In which Chubs Discovers the Meaning of Life

Chubs:

Hello World; I have discovered the meaning of life, and it is Chocolate. It is my mission to discover a new kind of chocolate every week until I find the Best Chocolate in the World. And then I will still keep trying new kinds, just in case there is a Better one. I must convince Layla to let me do this. I will keep you updated, World.

In which Chubs notices that Layla is more Layla-ish without shoes

Chubs:

My favorite part of today was going to the gym with Layla – into a sack I went, and then out the door we went. I sat in Layla’s gym cubby and watched her move around the circle of machines, very focused-like, and it was fun to watch her enjoy herself, but that’s not why it was my favorite. What made it my favorite was right after we came in, after she had placed me in the cubby and pushed the basket of paper towels above my head back so that I would be able to see, and she finally noticed that she wasn’t wearing her running shoes, and she took her shoes off and she smiled as her socked feet hit the floor. She stepped onto the first board, kind of awkward-like, and then she started dancing. In that moment she realized that she didn’t like wearing shoes to the gym, that they felt heavy and bulky on her feet and weighed down her dancing. If she would have remembered her shoes – which she didn’t, I bet, because she was paying attention to getting me ready – she might have never realized that she didn’t want to wear shoes at the gym. That’s why I think “mistakes” are good.

p.s. I never wear shoes.

p.p.s. I have purple feet. Layla has pink feet. Little Layla has pink feet too.

p.s.

Layla:

p.s. According to the “Thanksgiving Turkey Name Generator” on Facebook, Chubs’ “thanksgiving turkey name” is…Fifi Prance-A-Lot.

I am Chubs, and I say, “Dance!”

Chubs:

I know you’ve been wondering, World, so I will tell you: I did go Out today. The sack is green and woven, and inside it was nice and snug. Layla pushed the top of the bag down so I could see, and put me on the front “passenger” seat; yes, I, Chubs, was the Passenger. She talked to me all the while, and when a good song came on the radio, she helped me climb out of the bag so I could dance, and dance I did, right there on the seat while Layla was driving.

We went to Michaels, and today Layla brought me in the store. She carried me in the sack, and let one strap hang down so I could see properly, and brought in our umbrella so that I wouldn’t get even a tiny bit wet if it were to rain. We were looking for a pretty box of just the right size for some of Little Layla’s special things. Big Layla wanted a kind she’s seen before, and got a little frustrated when she couldn’t find any of those, but little Layla found one that she liked, no problem. And even though it said “hope” and Big Layla didn’t think there was any on this particular topic, she still let Little Layla have the one she wanted (and that’s why I like Big Layla).

Then another good song came on the radio, and I sure wanted to dance! I was in the sack, though, and my legs couldn’t move very well, so I thought it would be fun if Layla would dance, and, because I asked, she put a little bounce in her step and swayed from side to side a little. I thought, how sad to be so shy, but then she pointed out that she was the only one in the sore dancing at all, so I decided she’s actually pretty special.

It didn’t rain. We got back in the car with Little Layla’s new box without even needing to use the umbrella. I can’t wait until the first time I get to use the umbrella. I love umbrellas! And the first time Layla forgets the umbrella and has to stick me under her coat and run really fast, that will be even funner. But for today it was fun just to sit in the sack with the closed, dry umbrella, feeling cozy and relaxed.

And on the way home we listened to music and Layla sang loud and said how she felt self-conscious in the store but not with me, and how much she liked that about me. And I watched the clouds that crouched over the city, gray like the road, and Layla guessed at what people might have thought about why she was carrying a purple stuffed dragon through the store, and we laughed and laughed.

It was a very good day, World.

Big World, here comes Chubs!

Chubs:

Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Layla just put me in the sack! I must be going Out again! Yipee Big World, here comes Chubs!